Hurt

[Freedom]

my ABF does volunteer work at this motor camp for his mate that is nothing but a drug warren.

The mate asked if he can stay there 5nights a week to be the security... But we got a baby due in 10wks & he is ment to be giving up drugs, not going to stay amongst it five nights a week. I feel that he is putting the camp before me & baby & feel like we are the last on his list of things. How could he do this to us.

Told him that I dont even like him going to the motor camp {drug warren} each day pretending to work & that I'm sick of coming second best & that he has to choose between going to the motor camp or or committing to me & baby.

I don't think this was the best thing to do & I'm about to text his boss & tell him to get stuffed! & there is still the fact that he loves me so little that he would rather go stay at the motor camp for free 5nights a week. We are ment to both being clean & building this family.

[Melanie40]

Step One...We admitted we were powerless over the addict---that our lives have become unmanageable.

My goal is to keep my life manageable. Therefore, I have to accept that I am powerless over my ALO's choices. I can only control my own thoughts, actions and reactions without any expection of someone else to change.

I wanted so much for my ALO to be the good husband and father I wanted him to be. But he had to want it for himself. I can only be a good wife and mother that I want to be, so I work a program for my own personally recovery to make my goal a reality.

Sorry to hear your pain. Take care of yourself and your beautiful baby. (((HUGS)))

Melanie

[DianeB]

Yeah...it does hurt.

It hurts to see someone we love acting irresponsibly. It hurts
to watch them in addiction and know that we are powerless.

It doesn't matter what I thought I was meant to do, nor does
it matter what I thought my son was meant to do. What
matters for me is the reality of the situation.

My son is an addict. That is reality. I am suffering from this
family disease. That is reality.

I can't make it go away. I can't tell him what to do. I can't
tell someone else to stop him. If that were true and it actually
worked, we would have this problem solved.

I had to understand that I am powerless over the addict, over
addiction, over anything other than myself.

I am not powerless to change my own life.

Keep coming back...keep listening and learning.

Hugs...

[coinman_4]

I know there are Naranon meetings in Wellington and elsewhere but I can't remember if there is one in Hamilton. (Nice town, by the way). I went to NA meetings on both the North Island and the South Island but was never where there was a Naranon meeting on the night it was being held. We have other Kiwi's here on the forum. Not many, but they are here.

Have you ever thought of starting a meeting in Hamilton?

Love,

Coinman_4

[Freedom]

thanks for the replies.
he has done a complete turn around now & said that he is sorry & that I won this fight & that I'm right, he does need to get his head out of his ass & get his life together.

I did not want to have any fight & just want what's best for baby & us as a family.

It also hurt because of how I responded to the situation & how fast I accepted the invite to have an argument & to be controlling & forgot that I was powerless & the three C's

I surly will keep coming back & hope to start & meeting here in hamilton by the end of the year once I've learnt more