Welcome. I'm glad you found us, and as Mommalu said, thank you for your service.
In answer to your question, "can I ever have a normal life" the answer is:
Yes. You. Can.
I was just bemoaning the five years I spent married to an addict, and my sponsor said, "it's a chunk of time, but it's not "a lot" of time." For almost all of that time, I didn't realize he was an addict. Please don't beat yourself up. We're not the first ones who have been hoodwinked by an addict. There are loads of us, scratching our heads, wishing we had figured it out sooner. We're human, we're compassionate, and we want to believe the best is in everybody.
My life is pretty normal now, even though it isn't perfect. I am here for me, to make sure I can have the best life possible, be the best mom, daughter, friend, and partner I can be. I want to be the best friend I can be to MYSELF. This program is about us.
Hang in there and keep coming back.
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.