This is my second set of holidays without my AD - who too is addicted to heroin. Only now, I believe, many youth (including my daughter) are mixing heroin and meth. I feel that hole, and my AD is still alive (I think) somewhere. With her phone cut off, I have no way to tell her anymore how much I love her - though I always did when we were in touch. I just won't let her come home to live until she is clean. I have her daughter living with me, who is only 6 and has seen way too much of this harsh world through her mother and is quite frankly, pretty happy to be living a normal, stable life now. We pray together every night for her mother, but she is just doing so much better than when she was living with me AND her mother! (She and her Mom lived with us after her first stint in rehab last holiday season.)
I know about that hole, and I just never quite know when I will just 'lose it' and get teary eyed. I seem to be able to keep from just falling apart though now and that helps. Healing? I sure hope so. For me anyway. And hopefully my one and only child.
The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and those who are crushed in spirit.