by Tako » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:24 pm
Boy, the first time I heard the word, "Higher Power," I thought to myself......oh, no, I must have stumbled into a cult.
I contemplated making a dash for the door, but I decided to stay and just listen. In listening, I realized that those who were religious had no issues with identifying who their Higher Power (HP) was. I, on the other hand, sat there thinking that God was just a figment of one's imagination and I had lost hope in the whole concept long ago. When I was a child, I watched the newsreels about the Holocaust and came to the conclusion that God was not everywhere and certainly not "all powerful" because if he were, the Holocaust never would have happened, nowadays, I am still horrified at the catastrophes (earthquakes, fires, floods, tsunamis, radiation leaks) and other human tragedies.
I'm thankful that I didn't let the term, "Higher Power" or "God" get in the way of my journey into recovery. I attended meetings week after week and soon months after months and then the years came and went. Along the way, I met an NA member who explained to me that, in her culture (the Native American Indian culture), they could choose from amongst things in nature to be their Higher Power...........she told me to go down to the ocean's edge and stand there until I had a better understanding of who, or what, was in control. That little exercise helped me realize that I still had a belief that something was bigger than myself and that I had no control over most of what went on around me........not the sun, not the earth, not the ocean, not the wind, nor much of anything else.
Now, when I recite the Serenity Prayer
, I know that I am saying it to myself with the hope that the powers greater than myself will put their strength behind making the world, and the people who reside in it, better. All I know is that I am incapable of changing the world or its people, so there is no alternative but to seek out a power greater than myself..............a "Higher Power."
Just wishin' and hopin' and prayin',