Martha wrote:This is a very sticky part of my marriage.My AH has not used in a year now.Yet I do not "want" to have sex with him.
he still refers to it as making love, but I don't. I dpn't feel intimate with him because I can no longer trust. he as not come through with his promises. He is not supporting our family, even when I was out of work. I feel as if I am carrying the whole load and when he says"You wanna make love" I think NO...I still have lunches to make, a house to clean, take care of the kids...etc...etc....etc..... I am tired, I have been doing this for too long. One time, he , for lack of a better term, raped me. I acted like I was asleep and he took it anyway...then later he made a comment about "Are you sure you were asleep, because usually, your legs are more relaxed So now I wonder, when I am exhausted and passed out from it, does he take advantage of me???? Just recently, he made a comment about my period, but we have never had a conversation about my having it right now...so did he try one night and discover it???? I don't know, but I do not feel comfortable. I give in to basically get him off my back.....so now I need to figure out how to get out, support my houe and the kids and make ends meet. I don't get paid as much as I used to. No guaranteed income...now I need to find some "work at home" work to try to take up the slack. Then I will be better able to make my move towards serenity....
Hoping to hear some responses on what others ESH might be on this.
Cyber Hugs and God Bless,
Do you take medication to sleep at night? My husband is an addict but he hasn't ever hurt me physically. With my ex-husband I felt that way after he cheated on me. I knew that my marriage was over when the thought of him disgusted me. I'm sorry that your own husband would be so cruel to you. I pray that you can find the work you need so you can leave him.