Sponsors

[elainepere]

Is there a list of people willing to sponsors newcomers? I need one!

[sharon]

Elaine,

Does your f2f group practice sponsorship? That's the first place I'd look.

If not, we do have some for those that have no other options.

Join the contact list to get the list...they're on it.

That post is under announcements...follow the instructions and i'll send it to you.

[SuzeMom]

Just a note to say that I have been trying to find a sponsor without success. I hoped to find someone who understood the grief of losing a child as well as addiction, but I would be happy to just have someone to talk to when I need help. I wrote to one likely person on the contact list and have to think that I missed her reply as my computer has acted up before; I got no reply at all.

That is kind of hard when you put yourself out there and tell someone a bit about yourself (like a sales job? LOL) and then get no reply.

If there are any folks out there who have time to sponsor someone who would likely use email mostly (unless there was something emergent), has lost one child and has one living addicted RAS, I would be grateful.

Could someone explain to me the rule on this board about sponsor having to HAVE sponsors? Back in the day (er...dating myself now) I had a sponsor for some years and while I wouldn't put myself out there to sponsor anyone in NA (as I am very aware of the differences between alcohol and drugs now), there does come a time when things CAN settle down and you no longer need a sponsor and free yours up to someone who needs them and become one yourself? I would be interested in the theory at least so that I can understand it as some have wanted to sponsor me but have no sponsors.

Thanks!

love,

Suze

[sharon]

Suze,

I'm gonna try to explain it. Since a sponsor is your personal tour guide to the steps, traditions, concepts and YOUR journey, wouldn't you want that person to have worked these things?

What I was taught was this...there are NO concrete rules here. However, we are dealing with people's lives round here. As a sponsor, I'm very much aware of that wee, most important fact. I sponsor, I have a sponsor, she has a sponsor, who has a sponsor..etc.

Everyone is free to work with whomever they choose...that's the bottom line. For me, I had to have someone who had done it already(worked the program).

There is a huge difference in going to meetings and actually working the program.

Just my 2 cents here.

Lemme ask you this.....would you want an accountant to fix your electical wiring, or would you look for an electrician?
And you're right....there's way more folks who need sponsors than there are sponsors. That's why we give back as sponsors once we've gotten to the point in the program we feel comfortable with our own program and can do it comfortably.

[Brenda]

My sponsor doesn't have a sponsor right now. She does however, have 25 years in the program,
still does stepwork daily and has a zillion fellowship friends that she calls on in her time of need.

[SuzeMom]

Hi, Sharon,

As usual you are right about your points. My question was not about whether I should have a sponsor who had worked the program and HAD a sponsor, but rather whether the rule applied to those who had worked the program and HAD sponsors, but had no longer an emergent need to have a sponsor and was staying to "give back" among other reasons?

I think that there is a large knowledge base here (and I consider myself as much a beginner here as I did in Ala-Non when I first started there); I have much to learn which is why I am asking. I also think that there are folks here who no longer need a sponsor (and have freed their sponsors up to go on to others who need them) and would like to be sponsors. That is the feeling I've gotten. MY feeling is that I would want a sponsor who had done the work, knew the ropes and had the most experience (including having had a sponsor for more than a year).

I know I need a sponsor and that I am not alone. Perhaps if the experience was considered you could add sponsors to your list; the fact that some no longer have need for one may be (as in my husband's case) the fact that the sponsor died, people moved and no longer had urgent need, etc. I think one does need a sponsor to HAVE HAD a sponsor to learn how to BE one; I have no quarrel with that.

Love to you,

Suze

Suze,

I'm gonna try to explain it. Since a sponsor is your personal tour guide to the steps, traditions, concepts and YOUR journey, wouldn't you want that person to have worked these things?

What I was taught was this...there are NO concrete rules here. However, we are dealing with people's lives round here. As a sponsor, I'm very much aware of that wee, most important fact. I sponsor, I have a sponsor, she has a sponsor, who has a sponsor..etc.

Everyone is free to work with whomever they choose...that's the bottom line. For me, I had to have someone who had done it already(worked the program).

There is a huge difference in going to meetings and actually working the program.

Just my 2 cents here.

Lemme ask you this.....would you want an accountant to fix your electical wiring, or would you look for an electrician?
And you're right....there's way more folks who need sponsors than there are sponsors. That's why we give back as sponsors once we've gotten to the point in the program we feel comfortable with our own program and can do it comfortably.

[kpearl]

My rule for picking a sponsor..."You have what I want." After that the realtionship is between you, me and my HP.

My rule for being a sponsor....I have sponsor, no matter how long time goes between us, that's our business. I continue to work my program (and that means steps for me).

IMO Sponsorship is a committment between two people. You work it out. You may not want to keep your original sponsor. It's a little uncomfortable, but you can choose to change sponsors..That's betwen you, them and your HP.
Another thought is this...A sponsor doe not make or break your recovery...You do. A sponsor can not fix everthing. They may offer you another name on occasion. Some one they trust. Or ask you to go to a particular mtg where you will find a connection. Or ask you to read literature. Things that worked for them.
They may say no when you ask them to sponsor you. That can be uncomfortable to, but remember..It's probably not about YOU! People in the program work very hard on being aware of thier limits and capablities sometimes it's not the right time.

Take what you can... KP

[SuzeMom]

I agree with all of this. I have no dearth of wonderful people to call on this list in the case I wish to talk to them about issues. However, my last sponsor worked the steps with me (and the 4th step inventory book) and that is how I think of a "sponsor"; someone who I call whether or not I have a problem to work on ME and my issues and the steps most importantly. So, while there are many I can call for urgent/emergent issues, I think I need a "real" sponsor to go through all of that for as long as it takes. I'm good at studying and do my homework!

Love,

Suze

My rule for picking a sponsor..."You have what I want." After that the realtionship is between you, me and my HP.

My rule for being a sponsor....I have sponsor, no matter how long time goes between us, that's our business. I continue to work my program (and that means steps for me).

IMO Sponsorship is a committment between two people. You work it out. You may not want to keep your original sponsor. It's a little uncomfortable, but you can choose to change sponsors..That's betwen you, them and your HP.
Another thought is this...A sponsor doe not make or break your recovery...You do. A sponsor can not fix everthing. They may offer you another name on occasion. Some one they trust. Or ask you to go to a particular mtg where you will find a connection. Or ask you to read literature. Things that worked for them.
They may say no when you ask them to sponsor you. That can be uncomfortable to, but remember..It's probably not about YOU! People in the program work very hard on being aware of thier limits and capablities sometimes it's not the right time.

Take what you can... KP