Hello everyone, this is my first post here.
Sunday morning I lost my Cousin and also my best friend to a multiple of addictions, you name it she did it.
I know she woke every morning and went to a methadone clinic 7 days a week, I guess she needed more then that.
I havent seen her now in 2 years as I moved 1500 miles away from her 17 years ago, we still remained close though.
I always hated the fact I moved so far from everyone I knew and love, after sunday though I realized I dodged the bullet.
You see, I was starting to get into the same things she was back then, first pot, then cocaine.
Pot since my early teens and cocaine from the late 80's to early 90's, Moving saved my life.
I never sought out to look for any type of drug after I moved.
We did everthing together in our teen years, dated eachothers friends.. Laughed and cried together.
I knew it was coming, I told her so last time she came to stay with me..
I hugged her and said Mary, I fear this will be the last time I see you alive.. Turned out I was right.
No matter how much I thought I had prepared myself for the inevitable, it does not make it easier.
I have yet to cry, I have this huge void in the center of my chest where it feels like a part of me was just taken out.
It's the best I can describe it, just a void empty hole.
Looking through some old pictures the other day I forgot the beautifull girls she once was.
I want to remember her that way but all my mind can bring up is her drug ravaged body of two years ago.
Addiction runs heavily in my family, maybe it my brains way of telling me how lucky I am to not have gone down that path.
I hope to become part of this community, I think I could use a few friends right now.