It's Monday - So What Are You Grateful For?

[mommalu]

Dear Family

Despite what is going on in my life, I HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL!

I have learned, again and again, that my mind is a very dangerous place.
When I walk in the past - the feelings of anger, resentment, frustration, pain, suffering, guilt all can grow to be overwhelming.
When I walk in the future - those feelings of powerlessness, worry, helplessness and FEAR are definately overwhelming.
When I walk in the present - and find gratitude as I walk - I can maintain calm, serenity, focus and balance.

I am grateful that so many members constantly remind me:
DO NOT GO IN THAT PLACE (MY MIND) ALL ALONE!
I am grateful that I have each of you to walk into that place - I am not alone.

This weekend, my mind went to the future - not for me, but my loved one.
I lived in and out of fear FOR HIM all weekend.
He is facing a major probation violation hearing on Wednesday.
This probation revocation hearing was continued while he was in rehab.
Has he contacted his public defender? No
Has he gotten a job to pay the restitution? No
Has he been clean since leaving rehab? No

I am grateful for the many, many lessons I have learned in Nar-Anon.

Despite having spent the weekend in and out of fear,
I have continued to balance myself, center myself, and thank my HP for this lesson.
I love my son.
My son is an addict.
This problem does not have my name on it - it has my son's name on the court docket & motions.
I cannot afford to suffer HIS consequences.
If he goes to jail - I will be sad. Sad for him, sad for me, sad for this horrible disease.
I will survive.
If he doesn't go to jail - I will be still be sad. Sad that he even is in this place in his life.
I will survive.
I have so many tools available to me.
I will use as many as I need to keep me in calm.
I will survive.

I am aware what this weekend meant - I walked alone for a while in all those feelings.
I cannot afford to stay in those feelings.
My son is loved.
My love cannot change where he is, who he is, what he does, what he fails to do.
It is what it is.
I will continue to live the Serenity Prayer - Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom.

Lu

[Roxers2011]

I am really struggling with this today and have been the whole weekend, but I know I need to pull myself up out of the pit of despair and find some gratitude.

I am grateful that my ABF has expressed a serious desire to go to treatment, even if it hasn't quite happened yet.
I am grateful that he is alive!
I am grateful that he has a support system and a great sponsor who is trying to help.
I am grateful for this program and for f2f meetings.
I am grateful for my dog who is always there for me.
I am grateful that I get to take vacation in two weeks and go home to spend time at the beach and hopefully get away from it all.
I am grateful to have people that I feel comfortable talking to about all this.

That's all I've got for now.

[shesajar]

I am grateful for a Monday gratitude thread, because I was kind of focusing on the negative.

My AH (who is still in the psych hospital awaiting transfer to rehab) shared something really devastating with me when I went to see him yesterday. While we were dating and he was overseas, he was date raped by a fellow (male) soldier. He didn't want to tell anyone because he thought he'd get kicked out for "being gay." He didn't tell me because he'd have to admit to the "date" part. (I've always known he was bisexual, that's a non-issue.) While this is horrible news and a fresh betrayal, I am SO GRATEFUL that he told me. It's the first thing he's admitted to without getting caught and he had no motivation to tell me other than wanting to heal himself and our relationship and move forward from a place of honesty. I am grateful for his trust in me, and I am grateful for his hard work. I am grateful that I have the wonderful dilemma of deciding if it's time to start calling him my RECOVERING addict husband.

On a more practical note, I am grateful for my mother coming to visit and helping me clean my house!

[Roxers2011]

I got some more!

My ABF was finally able to get in touch with someone from his company and they are going to help him get treatment - they will treat it like any other disability, so he gets to keep his job, and have support finding a place to go, etc.
Also grateful that he is safe for the moment, riding around with someone else in recovery.

And with that I'm going to be grateful and try to really turn off the worrying - if just for today.

[TooManyHats]

I'm grateful that when my son called asking what to do about a traffic ticket...blah blah blah....I didn't go into panic mode and offer all kinds of help. I continued with my weekend and enjoyed it.

I'm grateful that my husband and I got some alone time.

I'm grateful that I spent the weekend at my favorite place on earth!

[dmom]

Mommalu....your post spoke to my heart.
Thank you so much for sharing what you are thinking/dealing with in your mind.
It helps me to not feel so alone in my feelings.

I am thankful for the safety of this forum and the comfort it brings me when i am in turmoil.


love
dmom

[river rock]

Im grateful to have this forum, not just for me
but so I might help someone else sometime.
Im grateful for my little two yr old buddy
who gives me sooo much joy.
Im grateful to be able to hold on.
Im grateful for my family and my sponsor
on here.
Im grateful for my HP
Im grateful for a friend I can call at midnight.
Im grateful for the smell of my Lillac bush
everytime I open my front door.
Im grateful the heating and cooling people are
coming to replace my units this week, in high 80s
and low 90s, and my upstairs is stifling.
River rock

[tati]

I am grateful that this Forum is here. I 'forgot' about it for the past couple of days and have been roaming around in the negative recesses of my mind for a while, too.
Reading the various posts and finally winding up here, reminded me that I have a choice in how I choose to respond to events.
I am grateful that that last thought finally made it's way into my brain a little while ago.
I am grateful that my brain is finally clearing; and the fog is starting to lift.
I am grateful that even though it's dark outside, there is still light - as long as I choose to see it.
I am grateful because I've finally remembered that I don't have to always be alone: that I can come here at any time for support and understanding!

Thanks, everyone
Tati

[jjabc]

Oh my Lou Lou,
I am so sorry you suffered alone this weekend! Why didn't you call me little missy!

I am greatful for:
friends I have gained here
tools in my tool belt.
acceptance
peace
the ability to say "No" finally at the age of 54 (talk about your slow learners)
my Marmaduke
my brother and sister-in-law
memories of better times with my daughter (thanks Jim)

[Liesl8]

I am grateful for MommaLu posting on Gratitude for Monday!
For those who are committed to our recovery, and offer themselves in service (chairing a meeting, answering a phone call, reaching out for help or to help on of our "family".
For having choices, and being aware that they are mine to make...no one else's
For letting go....staying present in the now, while being open to whatever the future may hold
VERY grateful for the positive changes I have seen in my AH through his current rehab stay.
Grateful for support and love as I wait to see what his next step is.
Grateful for all that I have learned through this program, and the HONOR of sharing my experience, strength and hope with others.
Love you ALL!
Liesl

[Believer]

I am grateful for my growing acceptance

of living life on life's terms.

I am grateful for every creature comfort

that I have.

I am grateful for the blessing of family

both at home and the one here

I am grateful that I am a work in progress

and that is just good enough for me

I am grateful most of all for a high power

whom I call God, who is patient, loving

and never gives up on me.

[Lyra]

I am grateful that Id have this forum and meetings. I know some nights I would be tearing my hair out if I didnt have a meeting I could go to.
I am grateful for the love support and understanding I get from my friends on this site.
I am very grateful today to have woken up in my OWN bed in my OWN house-it is definitely wonderful to have my own place again.
I am grateful for this caretaker job-I know it will not be perfect but free rent and getting into my own space instead of living in my ALOs territory is all good.
I am grateful that I was able to have some positive time interacting with my ALO today.
I am grateful to have a sponsor to help me work through and process my feelings after having that time with my ALO. It made me sad and I realize yet again that it is really for the best that we dont spend much time together. Yes, I miss him, I miss him a lot but I cant bring him back. Only he can. For now, I am grateful I am able to recognize that it is best for me and my sanity and peace of mind if I keep interactions with him at a lower level than when he was sober and that even positive interactions can be hard.
I am grateful I was able to work through my anxiety and consciously return my ALO to his HP's care instead of worrying about him and his future and our relationships future. I was able to appreciate the positive good time we had together and let go of the negatives.
I am grateful that I got some work done today. That I am fortunate enough to have good food everyday. A roof over my head. Good friends and family.
I am grateful that I have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I have it. And I am grateful to everyone and everything that helps me to work it, for my own sanity and peace of mind.