My daughter has not lived in our home for the last two years except for a very brief period around last Christmas. She seemed to be doing well and working hard at changing her life
and rebuilding her relationship with her son and our family but it did not last. Without warning she just left one night in early March and never came back. I guess it was for the best
that my grandson did not get used to having her here. He seems to have accepted that Mommie just does not live here but just comes to visit. Well now she does not even do that.
I guess we are all adjusting to our new normal. The beautiful room that was once her's with vintage white painted furniture with lavender glass knobs, a cool old painted antique bed
lavender color washed walls and a sparkling crystal chandelier and beautiful shabby chic linens and curtains are all gone.This room was my best work and I was so happy to do this for
her after she remained clean for 3 years and was a young teen Mom. I guess I had hoped having a beautiful space of her own would somehow inspire her to value herself and her life.
Now the room is blue, with dark pine furniture, and could not be more boy, A sports themed comforter and rugs. Navy curtains a large red and blue toy box and monster trucks,
super hero's and hot wheels and all things boy fill the room. She has changed her phone number and does not care to share that with us. I guess she has just moved on. I know that
she is alive as I looked at her facebook page and she that she has changed her profile pic, The really strange part of all of this to me is I am pretty much OK with all of this. I have my
my 4 year old grandson to care for and raise and really be a Mom too and he keeps my feet and mind busy. I will never really truly understand how a Mom can walk away from her child
but active addiction can never be underestimated with it's power to twist the mind and rob the soul. So for now our family just goes on her siblings and nephew and niece , her child
us her parents have adapted to our new normal and for the time being it really just feels like she does not exist anymore. Maybe in our own way we all really get how powerless we
are to change this and hold onto each other and live our life the best we can finding joy and gratitude for all the love, happiness and blessings we all have. I will always pray for her, I
will always love her and I will always hold onto hope for her in the meantime the rest of us are important and we have a life to live the one that we choose to embrace.
Thanks for letting me share what is on my mind
May the blessing of peace and serenity be yours