Welcome ... and you sound so much like me!
I manipulated my son into 6 rehabs using his legal problems to keep him in treatment .... do I regret it? No .... I bought time for him to get clarity in thinking .... I was terrified that my son would not live to see his 20th birthday. But shortly before he turned 20, he came home from his last rehab ... There have been some bumps in the road, but just for today, he lives in recovery. He will be 22 in a few months.
My son too was tired of talking about addiction. And like you, it had defined our relationship for so long. But when I started listening and respecting his right to not talk about it ... we did find other things to talk about. I stay out of his recovery and he stays out of mine, and it works for both of us. After all, I couldn't "talk" him into recovery ... and I was not his sponsor or his HP. I may have been paying the bill but his addiction and recovery did not have my name on it. I also went several months without seeing my son during his last stint in rehab .... And then we went out to lunch, and it was so nice.
If I had hung on to my son's addiction and contined to allow it to be the centerfold of our lives, I likely would not have my recovery today or the relationship with my son that exists today. I had to let go.